Kopiroti, Fuji Maru and Being Happy at Thirty

Today, at 30,I am not the person I had planned myself to be last year. Being 30, I had imagined, should be a turning point in my life, a time when I get to have a clearer picture of how and where I would spend my life, at least for the next ten years. I do not want to grow old with regret of not doing what I should have done today. But few hours before the year concludes, I still fail to meet complete discernment, so at some point I asked myself: What happened to my experience of retreats and other discernment activities? Meaning, next year I should expect to feel the same feelings and confront the same questions about recurrent issues - about my career, for instance.

More than frustration and impatience, however, what I feel as of writing is a sense of courage, openness and excitement to life’s options, surprises and opportunities I would find for myself as a consequence of my decisions and life’s kindness to me. These positive energies are enough self-reassurance that things would be all right.

For indeed, despite some personal struggles, my 30th year unfolded as one of the best years of my life. This year, I experienced some firsts, went to places near and far, and achieved dreams that have changed me forever: self-awareness, courage, maturity, perspectives. I met new people, strengthened old relations and made new ones that I hope to nurture for good.

Looking at the twelve months of 2012, I must confess that I overwhelmingly received more than I gave this year:  engaged less in outreach activities, but shared more in terms of inter-personal relations – in friendship and family. Maybe, I made more conscious efforts for my personal happiness this year. And I’m happy to be happy. For all that I have done and accomplished in the last thirty years of my life, however modest they may seem to the world, I deserve to be happy.

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These are the thirty most significant things that happened to me this year. It is notable that many of the items happened during the 39th Ship for Southeast Asian Youth Program (SSEAYP) journey, understandably because it took one-thirds of my 2012.

1.       The Biggest Loser. Losing weight was in itself a journey for me, and a challenging one. I did not go to the gym or have a special diet. I just had the discipline and determination to significantly cut my food intake and do brisk walking or jogging at the Basilica Grounds almost office hours. It was a struggle for me to resist what I love doing – eating a lot of carbs and sweets, but aside from personal will, the support of my family and friends helped me achieve my goal: from my parents’ healthy selection of grocery items to my officemates’ participation in my no-rice lunch diet. I did not regularly keep track of my weight, but I lost around 8-10 kilos in seven months.

2.       Northbound: the Vigan-Pagudpud-Laoag Road Trip. With limited budget and our own itinerary, Janice, Lax, Jan and I went north-bound as Part 2 of our great Sagada-Baguio adventure last year. It was amazing that in just four days we went to many places in these three destinations and experienced much like trying popular local food and taking gigabytes of photos. Best things in this trip: the dinners in Vigan and Pagudpud, the Bangui Windmills and the Cape Borjeador Lighthouse.

3.       September 6, 2012. I had many reasons to celebrate this day. One, it is my 30^th birthday. Second, it coincided with my fifth year of service to the Ateneo de Naga. Third, on this day the family decided to have the blessing of our home, which is a product of our family’s hardwork over the years. To cap it all, my birthday was about celebration of family, which I shared to people who have been part of my life – from my grade school teachers to my office colleagues and friends.

4.       The SSEAYP Interview. Usually, whenever I join a program with competitive selection process I would have a feel if I get it or not after an interview. And in SSEAYP’s case, I knew I got it right after my interview. And I did, realizing one of my college dreams. I think my experience in coaching students for interviews helped and pressured me to give my best before the SSEAYP panel. I pressured myself a little bit more, thinking that I had postponed my entry for long, and this year was my last chance, knowing the age requirement for the delegates (18-30). Thank God and to NYC, I made it.

5.       The SSEAYP Pre-Departure Training. It was both an affirming and humbling experience for me.

6.       Bugkos Lahi. One of the best gifts that I received in SSEAYP was the gift of friendship: twenty-seven new friends with whom I shared my SSEAYP journey – from the pre-departure training to the cruise.

7.       Golden Panda. The dormtel – the fifth floor rooms, the meeting area, the elevator, the canteen, the basketball court, the mezzanine, even Mini Stop and Grill Prince – formed part of my home for one month before SSEAYP proper. These spaces became witness to the joys, small victories, frustrations, pains, secrets, blossoming friendship and romance, and storming period between and among Bugkos Lahi during their Pre-Departure Activities.

8.       National Day Presentation on Fuji Maru. Singing nationalistic songs Bayan ko, Tagumpay Nating Lahat and Ako ay Pilipino before an international audience and being appreciated for it, was one of my proudest moments as a Filipino. Performing the Singkil even as a clapper and dancing the It’s More Fun in the Philippines with the Philippine contingent were quite challenging and fulfilling for a bad dancer like me.

9.       Singing Someone Like You with Ryan, Mayjee and Aaron on Fuji Maru thrice, again before an international audience, was definitely a dream-come-true for me.  The performance got many people on board on LSS mode, so I think we did well.

10.   The fun swimming and bumpcar riding with my little host brothers Zackie and Indera and homestaymate Landon in Jakarta, Indonesia. I felt like I had the opportunity to be a small kid again.

11.   Tochigi. During the institutional visits, I met the only Filipino student at Utsonomiya University, and the only Filipino student at Wanda High School. In Tochigi, I also experienced the tea ceremony and other firsts: net-fishing by the river and apple picking during my homestay with the Sakurai family and buddy Aki.

12.   I will always remember: the night walk under the rain, lightning chase and drinking sessions with new friends in Singapore; the temples and museum, Terminal 21, Tom Yum and two-hour massage in Amazing Thailand; and the endless eating with closely-knitted extended family in Brunei.

13.   Fuji Maru, every part of it and everything that happened onboard: too many to mention (separate blog re SSEAYP coming soon).

14.   Press PPY. I am happy about my humble contributions to the Philippine SSEAYP delegation as head of the Secretariat, Press PY and friend.

15.    Bonding with my roommates at Golden Panda (503) and cabinmates at Fuji Maru (420); and my buddies John, Mae, Apple and Joss. 

16.   The post-SSEAYP Baguio ‘country program’. With April, Mae, John and Ryan, this trip somehow facilitated our re-appreciation of our country’s cultures as we practically did institutional visits and homestay courtesy of Ryan, plus sessions of reminiscing and looking forward. Further, being in Baguio reminded me of my retreats, so coming there slowed down my emotional state from my overwhelming SSEAYP experience. In a sort of ceremonial toast, we expressed our wishes for one another and together set our eyes towards the future for sustained friendship. Then, I journeyed back home.

17.   Overall, it was a great honor, commitment and challenge for me to represent the Philippines in the 39th Ship for Southeast Asian Youth Program, and sharing the culture, arts and vision of the country to the Japan-ASEAN youth community.

18.   I am happy to have sustained my form of Marian devotion by serving as volunteer-photographer during the Penafrancia Fiesta, with Ligaya friends Herold, Tin and Errol. I had an improvement this time as I decided to be among the crowd during the time when Ina was being brought to the river for the Fluvial Procession. It was a fulfilling experience for me, even if the steel handle of the andas nearly struck my chest when I positioned myself near the river bank from where Ina went down to the pagoda.

19.   I attempted to inspire the UNC Elementary Graduation Batch 2012 as their Guest Speaker. I took it a challenge to make the approach of the speech more engaging than the usual, and its message, clear and relevant. 

20.   It was quite an honor for me to be recognized by my high school alma mater, University of Nueva Caceres, as one of their outstanding alumni for School Year 2011-2012.

21.   Kopiroti. It’s not about their coffee, but just being there alone or with friends that made me like coffee suddenly.

22.   T-Ice. My favorite liquor has facilitated many small talks and lifeplanning sessions with my trusted friends, old and new.

23.   Traveling with my mother and brother John for the first time in Hongkong and Macau has always been a dream for me. John’s girlfriend Mariane also joined us in this trip. The happiest memories in this trip were the whole-day Disneyland fun and the casino-hopping in Macau.

24.   The Formative Processing Seminar-Workshop in Emmaus, Ateneo de Manila University. This is by far one of the most useful skills training I have attended through Ateneo, with Ate Thea, Ate Julma, and Kuya Edsel. I practically use, consciously or unconsciously, the learning that I got here in informally processing the experience and issues of people who come to me for some help.

25.   I have always considered organizing the Dugong Atenista bloodletting a personal challenge and outreach for me. It’s so close to my heart that, although an office outreach, I feel a personal drive and ownership to take care of it. The Ignaciana bloodletting in July 2012 was satisfying for me as the office’s hardwork in promoting the formation activity was responded to by 300+ donors. The program again recorded the highest number of donation by a private institution in Bicol.

26.   One of the items in my 2012 Wishlist that I managed to do is having a separate calendar for personal life, so I would not to be tied all the time with my work calendar. This is an indicator that right at the onset of the year I was determined to pursue personal happiness.

27.   This year, I did a lot of cooking for my family and friends. I also learned new recipes of food with gata.

28.   Fr. Ritche brought us to a falls and beach in Camarines Norte – just what we needed after some weeks of hardwork and, therefore, stress.

29.   Watching Games of Throne, The Walking Dead and Dexter made some of my idle nights very exciting.

30.   Swimming with friends and family at Sulat Pool, Hydro Hot Spring, Spring Valley, Kate’s and Stonehouse.

31.   The refurbishment of my room. To accommodate my growing stuff (books, archived folders of college and work papers and mementos, travel souvenirs and clothes)and to have a more ‘homey’ feel, a bigger closet and a Japanese table and bed were fabricated.