Today, at 30,I am not the person I had planned
myself to be last year. Being 30, I had imagined, should be a turning point in
my life, a time when I get to have a clearer picture of how and where I would
spend my life, at least for the next ten years. I do not want to grow old with
regret of not doing what I should have done today. But few hours before the
year concludes, I still fail to meet complete discernment, so at some
point I asked myself: What happened to my experience of retreats and other
discernment activities? Meaning, next year I should expect to feel the same
feelings and confront the same questions about recurrent issues - about my
career, for instance.
More than frustration and impatience, however,
what I feel as of writing is a sense of courage, openness and excitement to life’s
options, surprises and opportunities I would find for myself as a consequence
of my decisions and life’s kindness to me. These positive energies are enough
self-reassurance that things would be all right.
For indeed, despite some personal
struggles, my 30th year unfolded as one of the best years of my life. This
year, I experienced some firsts, went to places near and far, and achieved
dreams that have changed me forever: self-awareness, courage, maturity,
perspectives. I met new people, strengthened old relations and made new ones
that I hope to nurture for good.
Looking at the twelve months of 2012, I
must confess that I overwhelmingly received more than I gave this year: engaged less in outreach activities, but shared
more in terms of inter-personal relations – in friendship and family. Maybe, I made
more conscious efforts for my personal happiness this year. And I’m happy to be
happy. For all that I have done and accomplished in the last thirty years of my
life, however modest they may seem to the world, I deserve to be happy.
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These are the thirty most significant
things that happened to me this year. It is notable that many of the items
happened during the 39th Ship for Southeast Asian Youth Program (SSEAYP)
journey, understandably because it took one-thirds of my 2012.
1. The Biggest Loser. Losing weight was in itself a journey for me, and
a challenging one. I did not go to the gym or have a special diet. I just had
the discipline and determination to significantly cut my food intake and do brisk
walking or jogging at the Basilica Grounds almost office hours. It was a struggle for me to resist what I love doing – eating a
lot of carbs and sweets, but aside from personal will, the support of my family
and friends helped me achieve my goal: from my parents’ healthy selection of
grocery items to my officemates’ participation in my no-rice lunch diet. I did
not regularly keep track of my weight, but I lost around 8-10 kilos in seven
months.
2. Northbound: the Vigan-Pagudpud-Laoag Road Trip. With limited budget
and our own itinerary, Janice, Lax, Jan and I went north-bound as Part 2 of our
great Sagada-Baguio adventure last year. It was amazing that in just four days
we went to many places in these three destinations and experienced much like
trying popular local food and taking gigabytes of photos. Best things in this
trip: the dinners in Vigan and Pagudpud, the Bangui Windmills and the Cape
Borjeador Lighthouse.
3. September 6, 2012. I had many reasons to celebrate this day. One, it
is my 30th birthday. Second, it coincided with my fifth year of
service to the Ateneo de Naga. Third, on this day the family decided to have
the blessing of our home, which is a product of our family’s hardwork over the
years. To cap it all, my birthday was about celebration of family, which I
shared to people who have been part of my life – from my grade school teachers
to my office colleagues and friends.
4. The SSEAYP Interview. Usually, whenever I join a program with
competitive selection process I would have a feel if I get it or not after an
interview. And in SSEAYP’s case, I knew I got it right after my interview. And
I did, realizing one of my college dreams. I think my experience in coaching
students for interviews helped and pressured me to give my best before the
SSEAYP panel. I pressured myself a little bit more, thinking that I had
postponed my entry for long, and this year was my last chance, knowing the age
requirement for the delegates (18-30). Thank God and to NYC, I made it.
5. The SSEAYP Pre-Departure Training. It was both an affirming and
humbling experience for me.
6. Bugkos Lahi. One of the best gifts that I received in SSEAYP was the
gift of friendship: twenty-seven new friends with whom I shared my SSEAYP
journey – from the pre-departure training to the cruise.
7. Golden Panda. The dormtel – the fifth floor rooms, the meeting area,
the elevator, the canteen, the basketball court, the mezzanine, even Mini Stop
and Grill Prince – formed part of my home for one month before SSEAYP proper.
These spaces became witness to the joys, small victories, frustrations, pains,
secrets, blossoming friendship and romance, and storming period between and
among Bugkos Lahi during their Pre-Departure Activities.
8. National Day Presentation on Fuji Maru. Singing nationalistic songs Bayan ko, Tagumpay Nating Lahat and Ako ay Pilipino before an international
audience and being appreciated for it, was one of my proudest moments as a
Filipino. Performing the Singkil even as a clapper and dancing the It’s More
Fun in the Philippines with the Philippine contingent were quite challenging
and fulfilling for a bad dancer like me.
9. Singing Someone Like You
with Ryan, Mayjee and Aaron on Fuji Maru thrice, again before an international
audience, was definitely a dream-come-true for me. The performance got many people on board on
LSS mode, so I think we did well.
10. The fun swimming and bumpcar riding with my little host brothers
Zackie and Indera and homestaymate Landon in Jakarta, Indonesia. I felt like I
had the opportunity to be a small kid again.
11. Tochigi. During the institutional visits, I met the only Filipino
student at Utsonomiya University, and the only Filipino student at Wanda High
School. In Tochigi, I also experienced the tea ceremony and other firsts:
net-fishing by the river and apple picking during my homestay with the Sakurai
family and buddy Aki.
12. I will always remember: the night walk under the rain, lightning chase and drinking sessions with new friends in Singapore; the temples and museum, Terminal 21, Tom Yum and two-hour massage in Amazing Thailand; and the endless eating with closely-knitted extended family in Brunei.
13. Fuji Maru, every part of it and everything that happened
onboard: too many to mention (separate blog re SSEAYP coming soon).
14. Press PPY. I am happy about my humble contributions to the
Philippine SSEAYP delegation as head of the Secretariat, Press PY and friend.
15. Bonding with my roommates at
Golden Panda (503) and cabinmates at Fuji Maru (420); and my buddies John, Mae, Apple and Joss.
16. The post-SSEAYP Baguio ‘country program’. With April, Mae, John and
Ryan, this trip somehow facilitated our re-appreciation of our country’s
cultures as we practically did institutional visits and homestay courtesy of
Ryan, plus sessions of reminiscing and looking forward. Further, being in
Baguio reminded me of my retreats, so coming there slowed down my emotional
state from my overwhelming SSEAYP experience. In a sort of ceremonial toast, we
expressed our wishes for one another and together set our eyes towards the
future for sustained friendship. Then, I journeyed back home.
17. Overall, it was a great honor, commitment and challenge for me to
represent the Philippines in the 39th Ship for Southeast Asian Youth Program,
and sharing the culture, arts and vision of the country to the Japan-ASEAN
youth community.
18. I am happy to have sustained my form of Marian devotion by serving
as volunteer-photographer during the Penafrancia Fiesta, with Ligaya friends Herold, Tin and Errol. I
had an improvement this time as I decided to be among the crowd during the time
when Ina was being brought to the river for the Fluvial Procession. It was a
fulfilling experience for me, even if the steel handle of the andas nearly struck my chest when I
positioned myself near the river bank from where Ina went down to the pagoda.
19. I attempted to inspire the UNC Elementary Graduation Batch 2012 as
their Guest Speaker. I took it a challenge to make the approach of the speech
more engaging than the usual, and its message, clear and relevant.
20. It was quite an honor for me to be recognized by my high school alma
mater, University of Nueva Caceres, as one of their outstanding alumni for
School Year 2011-2012.
21. Kopiroti. It’s not about their coffee, but just being there alone or
with friends that made me like coffee suddenly.
22. T-Ice. My favorite liquor has facilitated many small talks and
lifeplanning sessions with my trusted friends, old and new.
23. Traveling with my mother and brother John for the first time in
Hongkong and Macau has always been a dream for me. John’s girlfriend Mariane
also joined us in this trip. The happiest memories in this trip were the
whole-day Disneyland fun and the casino-hopping in Macau.
24. The Formative Processing Seminar-Workshop in Emmaus, Ateneo de
Manila University. This is by far one of the most useful skills training I have
attended through Ateneo, with Ate Thea, Ate Julma, and Kuya Edsel. I
practically use, consciously or unconsciously, the learning that I got here in informally
processing the experience and issues of people who come to me for some help.
25. I have always considered organizing the Dugong Atenista bloodletting
a personal challenge and outreach for me. It’s so close to my heart that,
although an office outreach, I feel a personal drive and ownership to take care
of it. The Ignaciana bloodletting in July 2012 was satisfying for me as the
office’s hardwork in promoting the formation activity was responded to by 300+
donors. The program again recorded the highest number of donation by a private
institution in Bicol.
26. One of the items in my 2012 Wishlist that I managed to do is having
a separate calendar for personal life, so I would not to be tied all the time with
my work calendar. This is an indicator that right at the onset of the year I
was determined to pursue personal happiness.
27. This year, I did a lot of cooking for my family and friends. I also
learned new recipes of food with gata.
28. Fr. Ritche brought us to a falls and beach in Camarines Norte – just
what we needed after some weeks of hardwork and, therefore, stress.
29. Watching Games of Throne, The Walking Dead and Dexter made some of
my idle nights very exciting.
30. Swimming with friends and family at Sulat Pool, Hydro Hot Spring,
Spring Valley, Kate’s and Stonehouse.
31. The refurbishment of my room. To accommodate my growing stuff
(books, archived folders of college and work papers and mementos, travel
souvenirs and clothes)and to have a more ‘homey’ feel, a bigger closet and a
Japanese table and bed were fabricated.
